Archive | Fatherhood

I have a confession to make: I’m a distracted homeschooling dad. My problem isn’t golfing on the weekends, working long hours, or hanging out with guys shooting hoops every night. No, my problem is in my pocket. I’m a digitally distracted dad.

Photo Credit: Tom Carmony via Compfight cc

When my wife and I started homeschooling there wasn’t much to distract us or my son. We had a gaming console (original Playstation) but it was rarely used, dial-up Internet was still prominent, we had no cable TV, and I had a pager for work that rarely beeped. Continue Reading →

I’m sure many of you dads (and moms) have seen similar rules posted somewhere before. I like them, I really do, but times have changed and I decided they needed to be updated. Keep in mind that these are tongue-in-cheek and purposefully exaggerated to make a point. So, I present to you:

Rule One:
When you pull into my driveway don’t text my daughter telling her that you’ve arrived. Come to the door and have a conversation with me because it’s going to take her a little longer to get ready. More on that later.

Rule Two:
Do not snap pics of my daughter and post them to every social media network tagged #hottie or I will set your smartphone on fire. Pretty hot, huh?

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered cool for boys of your age to constantly text and message all of their friends even when involved in a conversation with people around them. Don’t do this. Put the phone down and give my little girl all of your attention.

Rule Four:
Assume the answer to any text asking my daughter for pics with her clothes off is “NO.” It’s illegal and you’d better hope the cops find you before I do. Don’t ask for “hot” cosplay pics either.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should “friend” or “follow” each other on various social networks. Please do not do this. You can text me if your car runs out of gas or you need help changing a flat tire but I don’t care if you slept through class yesterday.

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many “friends” on Facebook and they hang on your every word. This relationship is not “Facebook official”. You are not in a relationship with my daughter that warrants any kind of public acknowledgement.

Rule Seven:
Do not use your smartphone and drive. EVER. Put the phone in your pocket and leave it there. In fact, turn it off before you get in the car. You can’t even walk and text without nearly killing yourself why do you think it’s OK while driving?

Rule Eight:
While you’re waiting for my daughter to get ready I will be looking through your smartphone for any inappropriate content or apps. If I find such content I will keep the phone, call your parents, and send you home.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I know how to use the Internet. I’ve been using social media longer than you’ve been alive and I know where and how to dig up all the garbage that you’ve posted online or texted to your friends.

Rule Ten:
Yes, I’m a geek but that doesn’t mean I won’t burn you if you hurt my little girl. There are far worse fates you could suffer than being beaten to within an inch of your life. The Internet never forgets and I know how to use that to my advantage.

Do you have any new rules for your kids now that dating has gone digital?

Featured image credit: kalexanderson

Dads, you’ve probably felt like life was choking the breath out of you at times. The responsibilities of being a husband, father, and provider all come crashing down at one time and you just want to quit, to tap out, so the fight will end. Well, even if you tap out, there’s hope because you live to fight another day.

I’ll be exploring the theme of the men’s luncheon at the Downstate LEAH convention on March 16th, 2013. The theme is Men Mentoring Adolescents: What Makes You Tapout? There’s four weeks until the convention so I’ll address 4 points each week: Men, Mentoring, Adolescents, and Tapout. This week I’m addressing tapping out.

“Apparently if you tap it ends the entire contest.” -Chael Sonnen

In MMA the tap out is an admission of defeat. You’re signaling that you either don’t want a limb broken or you’d rather not end up unconscious. The fight’s over. Sometimes as dads we fail and we need to admit defeat.

When we find ourselves in a situation that forces us to tap out, what do we do afterwards? Unlike a contest where your opponent stops choking you or torquing a limb, life doesn’t stop. The problem is still there. How do we deal with the things in our lives that continue to cause us to fail?

“…a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again…” Proverbs 24:16, ESV

We keep fighting. Before you can continue the fight, you’ve got to get some advice, Godly advice, on how to deal with the situation. Don’t look for people who will tell you what you want to hear. Look for people that will talk straight and give you counsel that you can use to come out victorious.

“…in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14, ESV

Sometimes we fail, dads, and when we fail it’s our responsibility to humbly repent and apologize. Yes, you need to apologize to your kids. If you lost your temper and yelled at them, called them names, or found out later that you punished them for something they didn’t do you need to fess up and come clean.

If you’re failing in personal areas of your life then you need to talk to your wife about it and another man you can trust. Their counsel will help make you a better husband and father. If we’re constantly in sin, it will affect our ability to parent. We’ll lose patience with our kids or just give up completely.

It’s OK to tap out of a match but don’t tap out on life.

Read all the other parts to this series: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3