5 Tips For Attending Your First Homeschool Convention [Humor]

It’s summertime and that means that homeschooling has turned to un-schooling for many parents. There is no “official” homeschooling happening but as parents who love to learn we still find educational outlets for our children.

Summertime also means homeschooling conventions. We can go to conventions and hear inspirational speakers, attend workshops to home our homeschooling skills, and check out the vendors who who sell curriculum, games, and more.

Photo Credit: Darcy LWM3B

For many new homeschoolers, attending their first homeschooling convention can be a little daunting. With that in mind I’d like to offer the following tongue-in-cheek advice to first-time attendees.

1. Husbands – Your job is to open your wallet and buy anything your wife wants. Make sure to get a second (or third) job working nights at a gas station to pay off the credit card bill. Yes, you won’t see your children all summer but giving them a good education and empowering your wife with the curriculum she wants/needs is more important than sleep or family life.

2. Wives – You will never “have it all together” like the super homeschool mom at the 17 workshops you attended. These women eat, sleep and breath homeschooling. You may as well resign yourself to knowing that you’ll never measure up to these women of virtue.

3. Taking your children to the convention isn’t a hassle at all. Who wouldn’t want to haul around 50 lbs. of baby food, diapers, sippy cups, Cheerios, and juice while jiggling a crying toddler on your hip in a crowded vendor area hoping your darling angel doesn’t slobber all over that $80 science curriculum you’re thinking about buying?

4. Wearing the same clothes for three days is perfectly acceptable.  Moms, nobody will notice the fact that you’re wearing the same “Best Homeschool Mom EVAR!” t-shirt under your jeans jumper.  Dads, black socks all look the same with sandals so no need to change them.  Don’t worry about standing out in the crowd.

5. You can always ship back everything you bought at the convention. More than likely you’ll have more stuff to take home than will fit in your vehicle. If you bought enough curriculum to fill up the spare room don’t worry. I hear shipping store are offering installment plans now.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this humorous list.  There is a grain of truth in every tip that I hope you’ll take with you when you attend a convention this summer.  Do you have any tips for attending a homeschool convention?  Leave your interesting or humorous tips below in the comments.

  • Carrie

    Hey John,
    It’s Carrie from Keyboard Classroom!  I love your blog about attending the Homeschool Convention.  It’s ALL true!  From my booth vantage point I see everything you are talking about!  I especially like to see the husbands carrying all the bags  and pushing the carriages all while pulling out their wallets!
    This convention was a bit slow but I thoroughly enjoy working with the homeschool community!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

  • http://thewiredhomeschool.com John Wilkerson

    Thanks for stopping by Carrie!  I’m sure you see a lot of interesting behavior from your booth.

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